.:.:. My World .:.:.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Haiz...feeling so sad now...dunno y...after sending tt thing...regretted... i hereby announce tt the grp is officially broken up into 2..she doesn wan the grp to b alrite...let it b...it's her choice...no pt toking to her all senses..she wont listen..remember GeRs...wE'vE tRiEd sOoO hArd..sHe dUn aPpReCiAtE..hU gIvEs a dAmN iF sHe dOnT wAnNa sAvE tHe gRp???jUz cArRy oN wId oUr LiVes..Once a mistake is done...there's no way u can save it...coz..it causes every1 to b hurt...pointless..THE HARM SHE GAVE WONT DISAPPEAR!! coz..it's leaving a scar in us..

9:37 PM

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Haiz..i thot everything is fine..but today...the cold war begin again...priya,meena,syu,mi... and devi,aminah,michele,hanisah..Whole grp gonna collapse again 1 guess...every1 is going on our own way again...hardly tok to them...n they hardly tok to us today...how cum?? yesterday was still joking n laffing n eating together...today...seems so diff...time is like turing baq n history is repeating? y is it happening again? haiz...anyway...i was attentive in sch today...juz abit blur...

7:50 PM

Monday, June 28, 2004

LoLx...SCH REOPEN=SIAN...28/6....haizzzz...woke up at 5.57...and receive a morning call frm my kor...prepare so fast today...i shld haf slp abit more lar...left hm earlier...coz i lost track of wad time the latest bus comes...so i took a bus earlier den my usual..Timetable change...Cme n PE teacher oso change....Y DUN CHANGE CHINESE TEACHER???? cant stand tt arrogance on tt china-man face...teach oso tok long story...like shit lar....Feel like giving him a slap on his face...but ...i dun wan to break record...i always so guai in sch... CANNOT!!! wahahahahaha

Sorri for feeling so siao now...anywayz...i slpt at 1+ or 2 last nite...den morning forgot drink coffee..or did i forget tt i always drink coffee b4 going to sch? LoLx...CRaPz sial...So tired.. 3 periods of english..followed by 2 periods of maths..n the worst..BOTH TEACHER TOK TILL SOOOO BORING...And so...Today is the first time i slpt during my english lesson... 1st 3 period alrdy slping...she teaching dunno wad oral oso....but ar...managed to get up for maths lar..coz...teaching new topic...cannot slp..LoLx..den..other lesson haf no comments ler lar..

after sch...we(priya,devi and mi)waited for meena,syu and hanisah for their DnT thing...den as usual walk slowly back to yishun central..den..mi,devi,meena and priya went to long john for out lunch+dinner for mi..reach hm at abt 4.30? LoLx..dunno how to survive on mondays ler...first day of wk alrady haf 5 boring periods...ARGGHHHHHH!!!!

4:56 PM

Saturday, June 26, 2004

It's sat morning ler...1250am...so sianzzzz..sch reopening soon..Haven touch my hw yet.. no mood to do..ArGH...going bonkers lar..frm starting of yr always nv do hw...dunno waz rong wid mi..Mommy going malacca tis morning...till the nite b4 sch start den cum back..sianz..yesterday internet kenna cut..parents no money pay..until i buay tahan liao..cant do without net..so went to axs station to pay the bill..my money...gone..juz liddat..aRgHHH!!!

Again..waste money at arcade,food n necessities..Brought my lil sis n bro to northpoint at 8pm on fri..they wanted to play arcade..b4 tt..they each gt a set meal frm mac n i had a mcflurry..all my money..spent abt $50 for tt one nite..feeling so tired..cant stand tt flirtious charlin anymore....aRgH >.< Can i not take o lvl tis yr? kinda tired...or mayb..i'm BERI tired alrdy..helpers out there?

12:49 AM

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

2 days nv wirte ler..nth to write oso...last nite cant slp..coz past few days slpt at 2+/3+..but i went to bed at 12+.. and slpt at onli 3am+..juz cant slp..i hate being left alone..by the 1 i realli care for..but it happens continiously...left home for sch at 9.40 but missed my bus..in the end..i was late for sch..but teacher din say anything..we did chemistry and physics practical.. to prepare for the o lvl.. my heart wasnt in sch..juz daydreaming as i watch my fren doin the experiment..after sch..at 11.35..i went to find my frens frm the nxt class..everything was over.. we r all baq in one big grp..we'r all happi to c each other ended the cold war..n so..mi,priya,hanisah and devi went to northpoint to buy flour,water,necklace and earring for Meena..it's her b'day tml..it's like a few days baq..we went out to celebrate my b'day..n now..it's her turn..time flies... hanisah,syu and aminah intend to sabo her wid flour n water today..too bad..i had to go hm early..n din join in the fun..after tt..went to repair my spects..the whole day..nth much happen..but wasn doing everything correct..was like dreaming the whole day..

as usual..feeling so sad n depressed...i cried again..but this time..it's diff..i cried for a stranger whom i noe yrs ago..din noe wad actually happen..mayb he noes..or mayb he doesn..but he surely wont care how i feel...If he doen care..y shld i?..Miss "stranger" so much...='(

11:01 PM

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Feeling so sad,confused,hopeless,disastrous...so terrible.. everyday cryin, but waz the point..no1 will care,no1 to trust,no1 to believe in,no1 to tok to. all kept inside. seems so happi but another story deep down inside.Thinkin abt it, day n nite,at Jp,at funan,at clark quay,at fullerton, at esplanade... It's reality or is it a dream?It seems more like a dream. Dream frm crawling to walking...frm nursery to sec 4...frm happi to forever troubled...n to cry everyday for life...Looking at the way it is...Live by urself..Coz..*No1 can b trusted(even family).* ='(

7:05 PM

Friday 18 June
hmmz...it's kinda late to write this now...tis sat..but i'm writing tis for Friday..LoLx..woke up at 12+pm..worse den other days...still haven touch hw...aww... feeling so moody thinking abt sch..well..at abt 1pm..i went to my grandma's hse to haf lunch..she juz stay at the 11th floor of my blk..i miss her cooking so much..it's been a long time since she cook for us..coz she dont stay wif us anymore..n her illness r slowly catching up....i love her cooking so much..but i onli scared of her nagging..she's realli nice to us...always giving us the best...her food...so YuMMy.. =P~~ after eating..she pluck mangosteen for mi n my bro..my sis din haf the luck to eat her food today..coz they haf bball training..haha..anywayz..she always share all the gd food which my uncle n aunts bought for her..

after eating..mi n my bro went hm...n i receive a sms frm a frn in the army..he asked to go catch a movie..he's bking out at 2+pm..so we meet at 3.45 n watch the movie "Around the world in 80 days"..quite nice..coz i love jackie chan's show..hehe..but my bro sooo mAfan(troublesome)..watch halfway wan go toilet..LoLx..so my fren brought him there..

After da movie..my fren went hm n i brought my bro to mac's for nugget meal...n den..we went to the arcade for a few rds of games...den we went hm loh..

Reach hm at abt 7pm++ near 8pm ba..den my lil sis went to buy a real dinner for us..den..haf been in oz da whole nite..intro the game to ken n charlin..hehe..wont b so bored in oz ler..=P

12:29 AM

Thursday, June 17, 2004

LoLx..i woke up later n later each day...woke up ay 11.30am LoLx..my lil sis went to my mom's workplace today..*iT's a mIrAcLe* LoLx..dunno wad she did there oso..anyway..had another nitemare today...aRgH...wad is happening?????? *sCaReD*
i made my own breakfast..ham n sasuage n wholemeal grain bread.. (wHoLemEaL GrAiN BrEaD tAsTe LiKe ShIt..) LoLx..

After her elder sis went out..i went to oz to gif flowers.. KiYoShi nv replied my msgs for days...*wOnDeRs* after tt..had a few rds of gunbound and as usual..no mood to do holiday hw.. *HeHe* after tt..my bro came into my rm n said he scared of "lao po po" n "lao pek pek" which we used to scare him wid..wahahaha..so fun...i blasting my music to scare him...n he like clinging on to mi..wahahah so funni~ =X *bAdZ*

Anyway..i brought him out today k? i brought him to GV Yishun to watch "The Best Bet" at 4.10pm LoLx..din noe it's in hokkien...poor him..he haf to look at at eng/chi subtitles...wahaha..we had 1 large sweet popcorn n 1 large sprite...after the movie..we went to arcade n play a few games b4 going to mac to share a Mcnuggets meal..so boring going out wid him..but cant find any fren to go wif.. *sObZ* onli reach hm at 7+...online..to c Charlin cuming online..n went to disturb him liao...wahahaha..denz...went in oz n gave Dominic koR kOr 3 pathtic perch which 1 caught yesterday? or the day b4? i dunno..short term memory acting up..whaahah =X aT lEaSt i wEnT oUt tOdAy hOr..n nOt As BoReD lEr..hehe..thinking of nxt wks programme...feeling kinda sian liao..haf to go back sch for xtra lesson..HmPhz...can dun take O lvl mah?? =X

11:10 PM

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Hmmz...die ler lar.. last 2 nights haf been having nightmares...abt monsters..the funniest thing is, spiderman is in my dream..does tt mean sth bad is going to happen to mi?..lol..in these 2 nites..haf 3 nightmares alrdy..now cant realli rmrmber abt it.. haha..anywayz, i woke up late today..at 11+ coz ah hong was replying to my msg earli in da morning at 7..n my msg tone is damn noisy...so i went back to slp after replying to his msg..haha..i msg him at 3am last nite...coz i cant get to slp..he's da onli 1 hu gives gd advice to his frens..although his kinda a quiet guy on the outside... LoLx..

hmmz..was so angry n pissed off last nite...tt's y.. until 3am+ den slp..all bcoz of "dee"...in addition..my lil sis gt baq her hp...n was toking in da middle of the nite..so irritating..tis haf make mi feel soooopissed..n lost a fren in da process...the evil face is baq.In da morning, my lil sis went to buy us breakfast.. n has came to an agreement to let her go out frm 1.30 to 4.30.. All thanks to my soft-hearted mother..gif in to her so fast..i'm sure she'll repeat her mistake againz...

heard abt the guni event in a game called OZ world..n managed to caught 3 perch fish in da afternoon..after tt..i had a few rd of gunbound again...totally bored at hm..no mood for hw..n charlin came online sooooo late..

in da evening..i waited for Justin to finish d/ling his shockwave to play isketch wid mi..but..his IE. realli sux..whahahaa =X so..din get to play today..nxt..i played hexic on msn, and sumo volleyball wid him on da icq..but still..sort of bored.. i've juz finish d/ling some songs...n now..Justin's waiting fer mi to play yahoo pool..tAtA~ i'LL b bAcK sOoN~ =P

10:35 PM

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Hmmz..lol..again..i woke up at 10+..mi n their elder sis went to buy lunch for them...n we walked hm wif an ice cream in our hands...wooo.....it's soooooo nice to haf an ice cream on a hot day..gd thing they din noe we bought ice cream..hehe *badZ*

after eating..mi n my bro had a few rd of game in gunbound..as usual..my sis is still under grounded-"ation" lol...still grounded lar..if u dont understand..hehe..we play gunbound for quite a long time till 5++..n found them in the living rm eating cup noodles..so i made 1 myself too..after tt..watch television for awhile n played a few game of isketch wif charlin,desmond, andy,n my younger sis...i played till now..den cum n write my blog loh..charlin was waiting for my blogs (eagerly) everyday..hahaha =X well...nth much happen i guess..or mayb i had some short term memory..n forgot wad happen..lol.. Charlin is back at his guitar i guess..(funny fellow) =P

chat wif ken for a while..he changed so much...he's sad n troubled i think..but he doesn tell.. tis fren of mine..used to b happi n asking lots of stupid quest..but nv c him doing tt recently..he dont even wan to tell..he still treat mi as fren? every1 juz wan hide their troubles eh?chat wif priya too...but nth much oso lar..hmm..n the fellow..hu name himself "dee" lol..chat wid him for a while..coz he cant play wid mi..*SaDz*..now charlin is back to normal..hehe so happi~ =P

9:16 PM

Monday, June 14, 2004

as usual...woke up kinda late..at 10+?? haha..thot i wont b going out...coz my lil sis was grounded for a few days coz of last nite..gd thing..my granny asked if i nid her to come n look after the 2 youngest siblings..of coz..i agreed.. at least..my sis was a gd ger for today..

her elder sis..was having game today..but hu cares? she's always not at hm..haha..at last..my gd frens(priya,syuhaidah)asked mi go out walk walk..after thinking of so many places..we decided to go to causeway point's arcade..we met priya at ocbc(northpt) n we met syu in da train..we played $20 in the arcade n went to mac for mcflurry....hehe..kinda nice n cooling for the hot weather..but i noe tt they r still feeling sad of the breaking up of our grp(me,priya,meena,syu,hanisah,aminah,devi,michele) now..it's like devi,hanisah and aminah are going on their own after devi n priya had some misunderstandings.. priya was feeling real bad for us..as it was a problem between them tt affects the whole grp..it juz happened..suddenly..for dunno wad reasons oso..anyway..i feel tt it's juz small problem...but..dunno y priya muz b the 1 always givin in to her..it's like..every1 asked her not to gif in this time..

Anywayz...we had a great day at the arcade...after our ice cream..we took a bus back to yishun n accompanied priya to get a birthday cake for her mom..so fillial..hahaha..her family is like ....always so close...envy her...hehe..well..had a fun time chatting wid charlin too..but he's like... so sad n dead these few days...but he juz told a lil about her...dunno y he doesn wan to tell his troubles...wad a fren!! wahaha..

I reach hm at 7+...kinda tired alreadi..but i still feel like playing..hehe..not long..my mom's frens frm a buddist kind of thing...came to share their experience b4 n after they believe in buddhism..n gave us some study tips..although it's kind of boring...but i noe wad they said r kinda useful..frenly too..hehe..they left at 9.55..they muz b tired ba..travelling frm quite far places? anyway...i'm still grateful to them for dropping by... hehe..

10:57 PM

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Haiz.. Woke up at 10+ today... n knew tt it wld b a boring day..I was rite..my sis ordered a sunrise meal frm mac..after finish eating...i watch the tv drama on chn 8 at 11a.m...watch halfway, my bro's 3 lil frens came to our hse...n make alot of noise..wad a day.. making mi feel headache..after tt the drama finished and they left...

After watching..my sis,who was realli bad in character tried to go out.. she'll always hang out wif those "bad" company n later..turn out to b very very defiance..but..i managed to lock her at hm..PhEw!! Last yr..i had to admit tt i'm beri strict wif her..But she realli made mi sooo fed-up..i cant stand her anymore..until i thot i shld let her do wadever she wans..n i cant b bothered in wadever she does..Until recently..she got worse..i realli haf to control her..or she go real bad..Anywayz.. i went to to take a afternoon nap as my headache is getting worse..and my sis is chattin wif the fren outside our flat..Half-aslp,my lil bro wake mi up..saying my sis is gonna climb down the flat,as we were juz staying on the 2nd storey..SURPRISED MAN..when i went out..she was alredi in her rm..toking on da fone..gd thing she nv go down..or u wont noe wad might happen to her....

i've always let her go out frm morning till 6pm.. but she nv keeps her promise..she'll always return hm at 7+ or 8+..i noe i shldn trust her anymore..tt's y..i locked her at hm today... but din noe she'll thot of going out by climbing down the flat..

after i realli woke up...my head is still aching..argh...juz how m i going to spend my day..I was having my dinner..wif my sis beside mi..her food taste strange..so..i gave her my food.. but my bro..always picking on my sis..came to hit her wif stupid WWE stunts..Crazy man...we'r eating!! so..i stopped him by taking his fav possesion n told him i'll gif it baq if he gives us a peaceful meal..but..he dont wanna listen...He continued hitting her...Cant stand it lar...y muz he always pick on her..she's gettin defiance not onli bcoz of her frens..it's also bcoz.. she feels tt no1 in the family loved her..i realli got angry..i yelled n scream at him..but he's juz 9..n he's kind of afraid..so he went to the kitchen n take a bamboo stick n started screaming at mi..CRAZY!! he continously waving the stick wanting to hit mi..but i got hold of it..haha...he was crying then...he get another "weapon" - my mom's belt n wanted to continue hitting... hahaha..juz den, my dad came n took it away frm him..he still dare to accuse tt it's our fault.. Wadever...juz let him tok wad he wans.. he's juz a kid..

Headache is acting up again...my mom came hm..as usual.. started shouting for the mess in the living rm...haiz...so pissed off...being cheated by 1 of my fren whom i noe frm gunbound.. after tt..i heard my sec 3 sis(the 1 older den the defiance one..) and the lil sis quarel for one pathetic com...the quarelled till my mom came out to scold my lil sis..coz she has been occupying tt com for quite some time..but she dont wan to get up..she juz sat there...not doing anything...it's better for her to listen to us...coz..she always got beaten after not listenin to wad my mom said..she's realli stubborn...so i went over to plug out her connection..thinking she'll get up n not gettin any beating... but she still dont wan to get up..my mom caned her..but her hand...still holding on tightly to the mouse.. dont noe wad to do sial...den my mom snatch her hp away...coz..it's her precious thing.. n my mom was unable to pay her fone bills..after tt...she got up n tried to snatch the fone frm her.. my mom caned her so many times..n she dont wanna let go of the fone..until my mom hit her harder...she let go...n went into the rm...haiz...realli dunno wad to do lah...she's the 1 hu gets caned by my mom for being too stubborn.. mi n her elder sis always tried to help her...but she doesn wan to cooperate n dont even wan our help..If onli she listen to us....Any1 tell mi wad to do to help her?? things will get realli worse..i can feel tt she realli hates tis hm...... >.<

10:41 PM